The Duke/UNC Drinking Game
There’s all sorts of serious Carolina vs. Duke analysis getting disseminated throughout the internet today, and you can expect to read more of that here as well as we build toward our live-blog tonight.
That said, in the spirit of worry hard-play hard, the following is an intended source of anxiety reduction for tonight’s showdown that inevitably will hit close to home for many Indy readers.
Enjoy!
The Carolina vs. Duke Drinking Game
Single-Player System: If any player scores at least seven consecutive points for his team, drink.
Proposition 8: If a sideline reporter giggles nervously during an interview with a player, drink.
We Report, You Decide: If a referee makes a controversial call and the crowd chants “Bullshit,” drink.
Suspending The Campaign: Anytime either coach calls timeout, drink.
Fundamentals Are Strong: If a player scores by making a jump hook, drink.
Meaning Of The Word Is: Drink each time a UNC player is dribbling the ball and the Duke students chant “Boink! Boink! Boink!”
Philibuster: Anytime Philadelphia natives Gerald Henderson or Wayne Ellington get a dunk, drink.
Waterboarding: If a player slips after grabbing a rebound, drink.
Supporting The Stimulus: Each time the television announcers swoon over Tyler Hansbrough, drink.
The First Dude: Anytime Kyle Singler makes a face resembling that of a surfer’s, drink.
In the great history … there have been rulings: If either team goes on a 10-0 scoring run, drink.
K Hagan: If you can read Mike Krzyzewski’s lips invoking the name of God, drink.
Improvements At The Mall: If Roy Williams isn’t wearing an ugly tie, drink.
Durham County: Anytime a player at the free throw line has a foul shooting average of at least 76 percent, drink.
Full Frame: If a player on either team flops and successfully baits the referee into calling an offensive foul on an opponent, drink.
State’s Rights: If at any point in the telecast the announcers mention the Wolfpack, drink.
Post-Partisan Era: If at any point Duke students applaud good play by UNC, light whatever it is you’re drinking on fire and down the whole thing.
